TNWSY came out a bit after L turned one. I wrote it before I even considered having a baby, and now, here they both are in the world. Two things i’m incredibly proud of, but in different ways of course. In the process of both of them growing and developing, I’ve had time to see how similar the two kind of are, in all the good and bad.
They’re both yours to protect and guard ( though one is far more public–I’m a bit private about L). They’re both yours to scrutinize and worry about. They’re both yours to love. Obviously I know one is a living breathing child that I’ll unconditionally adore forever, and the other a pile of paper–so similarities to diverge, but still. They’re both mine.
The thing is, it’s easy to compare, too. In a world that shows off everything online, it’s easy to wonder…
Should L be talking more? Should she be walking more? Is it normal that she throws food on the floor and cries? Look at those babies, they seem a bit more sociable–should she have more baby friends?
Should my book be selling better? Should it be in more stores? Is it normal that reviews start dying out? Look at those authors, they’re at more events–should I be traveling more?
It’s easy to get distracted and discouraged. It’s easy to think you’re not doing enough, and that you’re failing in one way or another. I’ve kept myself up at night quite a bit worrying about it all.
But here’s the thing–
L jumped in her first puddle the other night, and her face lit up like the puddle was the most fantastic thing in the world.
I received an email from a stranger thanking me for writing my book and I felt like a celebrity.
It’s all amazing.
So when I start thinking about the down sides–worrying i’m not doing enough, I’m going to think of those things. Because i’m doing what I can. L is a super happy little girl who’s perfect and wonderful in my eyes. My book is doing what a book should do–it’s being read.
Because puddle jumping and emails are enough.
They really, truly are.