27

A few days without updates – yikes. I know, I promised to be a better blogger, but it seems like my life is getting in the way. Don’t think I’ve given up on this, though, nor the outfits. I’ll post a collection of them later this week. No one wants to see my face EVERY day.

I turned 27 last week, which was interesting. Twenty-seven is a scary number – it signifies “late 20s.” I’m not one of those people who dreads aging, far from it, but 27 just sounds a lot older than 26. Maybe it’s because I am.

I’ve accepted a lot this past year. For one thing, I’m engaged. I’ve fully accepted someone else into my life indefinitely, which, to say the least, is absolutely frightening. Frightening, but also really exciting. I’ve relied on myself for so long, it’s hard giving up little pieces, flaking them off one by one, in order to let him in. Give him responsibility. But I’m excited to – it’s not so much a destination, but a stop along the way. Like in the game Life – my existence isn’t ending as I pile Samir into the car, it’s still going and we’re gathering so much more as we peddle on together. I’m really excited to see where our game leads; I’m confident that it’ll be a long, enjoyable and worthwhile one.

I’ve accepted a new career path, which isn’t so much scary as it is needed and, seemingly already planned. From book selling to teaching to writing to librarianship, it all seems to make sense. I think what thrills me most about the next step is not just that I’ll finally be surrounded in literature once again, and helping students read and write, but that I’ll finally have time for myself to write. Creating copy all day is great, but it leaves me drained and lacking inspiration. I made a promise to Samir that I’ll have a finished book by my ten-year high school reunion, which will be next October. I will finish something by then. And this is the year, right?

But mostly, I’ve accepted myself. I’m far from perfect, and I know that. I’m extremely fickle; I get bored easily and have changed careers twice since graduating college. I’m indecisive, I apologize for everything, and I’ll never be amazing at something. I’m not the 100 lb. girl I was in college, and I won’t be again – but I love my curves and wouldn’t give them up. I’m okay with all of that. It’s an ongoing process, learning about yourself.

Recently, there was a trending topic on Twitter where users “tweeted” their 16 year old selves. It got me thinking about where I was at 16, but most importantly, who I was. At 16, I thought I’d be married with kids by 27. I thought I’d have it all figured out – okay, I’m not that person, but I’m getting there. Some people just need more time.

But if I could talk to my 16 year old self, I’d let her know that’ll all be okay. Believe in yourself. Be happy with who you are. High school is fun, but life gets so much better afterwards.

I read this quote this morning:

“A beagle chases rabbits for two reasons, I think (though admittedly, I’ve never been able to get a beagle to tell me for himself)

1. He honestly believes that if he ever catches that elusive rabbit, it will somehow be well worth the effort, and
2. chasing rabbits is fun.” (Dinty W. Moore)

I think that’s a bit like my life. I keep chasing for something, yearning for more. For a while, I didn’t know where it was taking me, but now I don’t really care. I’m more excited for the chase – the chase is fun.

So, I’m starting 27 with a clear mindset, and excitement for what’s in store. By 28 I’ll have a new career and name, which is weird to think about. But for now, I’m me – and I’m really happy with that.

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