2011 in Review

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2011 has been A Year. With every con came a pro; with every bit of sorrow came excitement. (I know it’s usually the other way around – with the good comes the bad – but I prefer looking at it the other way.)

My mom was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer. It was the scariest, most painful thing I’ve ever gone through. Seeing my mom so vulnerable, it was horrible. But then came the good news – with surgery it could be removed. And then with a test, we could find out if there’s any chance of it coming back. There isn’t. She’s fine. She can start 2012 with a medically clean slate.

On the pro side, I received my master’s degree in library sciences, and realized how perfect I am for the profession. I’ve never been so involved and absorbed in my studies. I knew I was finally in the right field.

I lost my editing job at the magazine (due to a company-wide furlough), but within two weeks secured my first librarian position. As cheesy as it sounds, I feel like it all happened for a reason. I love my job, and although I know it’s only temporary (it goes through February – eek!), I still feel ridiculously connected to my co-workers, to the library, to the position.

I fulfilled my #1 resolution that I kept putting off ever year – I wrote my first book. It may never see the light of day, aside from my friends reading it, but the fact that it’s complete makes me proud. Of course, I’ll do everything in my power to get it published, but that’s for next year, right? (It’s still being edited!)

Most importantly – I got married! I’m now a Mrs. and despite all fears, it’s really quite lovely. Our wedding was amazing and truly one of those moments I’ll always remember. We went to Italy and Greece and started our resolution to see the world. S and I are ringing in the New Year tonight with friends, and we couldn’t be more excited – or happy.

There’s more, of course, but when looking back on this year, those are the stories that will stand out, the ones that’ll forever represent 2011. I’m not sure anything can compare with getting married, but I do look forward to the next year, and all it will bring. It’s time to start from scratch and try something new. I know the bad will come, but I also know the good will be right behind it, waiting to shine.

No Touchy

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I think i’m going crazy.

When I was young, I had this weird thing where I HAD to sleep with blankets covering my neck. I couldn’t even get comfortable if my neck was exposed. I blame this on early viewings of Robocop. While I don’t remember the movie much (as it traumatized very little me), I do recall a scene where someone was stabbed in the neck with a syringe. Of course, this memory could prove to be false, but I’m holding onto it. Anyway, I figured blankets would stop a would-be drug injector from getting to me. Behold the power of blankets!

Around college, I grew this weird aversion to anything touching my neck. Anything. At. All. Goodbye drug blockers, blankets couldn’t go up there. Neither could turtlenecks. I was extremely ticklish, but that wasn’t even it. I just didn’t like things touching me.

So of course over time, sleeping got a bit harder. I had to ensure my hair was pulled back before bed. Shirts had to be loose. Weird, right? But if I abided by these new rules, I slept fine.

That is, until this week. Now, shirts have become a problem. I can wear a tank top fine, but a t-shirt? Oh no. I wake up with my hands literally grabbing at the neck of my shirt, pulling it down. It’s weird. And kind of frightening. I can’t fall asleep if the t-shirt is anywhere near my neck. So, back to tank tops despite the colder weather.

So, please, do tell – I’m going crazy, aren’t I?

Listening to Characters

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I’ve read so many articles where writers described how their characters talked to them. How the characters led the story and made decisions of their own. And I thought it was so cool. I wanted that to happen. I wanted my characters to come alive and be something more than 2D ideas. But every time I wrote, it never happened. I realized later it was because I never got to know them enough to allow them to come alive.

As I wrote TNWSY, I had a general idea of how the book would start and end. I had a beginning fleshed out and finish line all of the characters were running towards. But as for the middle, there was just a bare skeleton guiding me. Sure, I had ideas of what would happen to get them from point a to point b, but never real concrete plans. I was scared, of course, that I wouldn’t figure it all out.

But as I approached an undecided part, I found scenes coming to me. Not always easily, but they came quickly and excitingly. My characters decided they didn’t want to stay at a party, instead they wanted to go out. They told me where they should go, they led the story. And it was absolutely amazing. Even my ending, the one I previously plotted, was changed. They thought it was too cheesy, of course.

After I finished, I went back and re-read it. Starting with the first chapter, I noticed how out of character some quotes were, how unauthentic. That’s how I realized my characters had voices. As soon as I realized that, I knew I was on the right track.

That’s not to say my story is perfect or even complete – even right now I’m finding new things to change and add. I’m just saying that, despite it never happening before, it is possible for characters to come alive. It’s amazing and crazy and, well, magical. They create stories of their own, and, as a writer, it’s our job to just catch up.

Writing a Book

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So, I wrote a book. Crazy, right? It’s something I’ve wanted to do for years. Years. I’m the kind of person who does everything to get what they want. If I want a new job, I do everything in my power to get one. (And, so far, it’s worked rather well.) If I want to get in shape, I work out regularly. (Okay, this usually only lasts for, like, two weeks…but I try!) Creative writing has been the only thing I’ve been…more reserved about. I’ve had a ton of nonfiction articles published (See: my last job), but fiction? Never. And it’s always been my goal. And year after year I’ve pushed it to the side, in fear of, well, failing.

But not doing anything essentially made me fail.

So this year I participated in National Novel Writing Month. I figured if I had a deadline, as well as other people working towards the same goal with me, I’d do it. I didn’t just think I could conquer it, I knew I could. And I think it was that insane determination that helped me through. Because 27 days later…I completed my first novel. All 51,000+ words.  Honestly? I’ve never been prouder. I actually cried as I typed the last sentence. CRIED.

But obviously, that’s not the end. Writing something in 27 days means it’s far from perfect. So that’s what I’m doing now – making this book perfect (or, manuscript perfect at least). I self-edited it once, checking the grammar and spelling and ensuring everything made sense (at least to me). After, I sent it to two friends who I knew would offer insightful critiques, as well as an unbiased reading.

And it was so scary. These girls are my friends, I know they’ll be kind, but the idea that someone else is reading my creative writing is absolutely frightening. Someone is meeting my characters, envisioning my plot. The work is officially not just mine anymore, it’s living in the minds of others.

What if they didn’t like it? What if it was bad?

So two nights ago, my friend Katie came over with a ton of critiques. She commented on what worked, and what didn’t. She corrected some more grammar and said I used certain words too much. (Which, I do.) The thing is – the comments didn’t hurt as I thought they would. Yes, she’s saying some parts weren’t great, but I took the critique and used it to better the draft. I didn’t take it to heart, instead I took it to the pen. Or the computer, moreso, because I knew if something didn’t work for her, it wouldn’t work for other readers. And I want other readers to see it. I want them to enjoy it. So even though it hurts to change my book, I know it’s for the best. So i’m doing that.

But on the plus side, she actually liked it. And I couldn’t stop smiling for days after hearing that.

The is a long way of saying that I’ve written a book. I’m going to be working on it a lot now, and eventually searching for literary agents to hopefully represent me, and it. I know it will be a long process. I know it will be a hard process, but I’m ready. I want to take my writing out into the world. I want people to meet my characters and see what they’re like. I want people to experience their lives.

And I’m going to do everything in my power to get this done.

A bird in the hand

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Yesterday, a simple trip to the mall turned into the greatest scavenger hunt in the history of mankind.

Let me explain.

Last weekend, S and I got a Christmas present for my mom from the ultra-fancy Neiman Marcus. (I’m not mentioning what said gift is in case my mom is reading. In case I’m right, hi mom!) As it turned out, if you spend over $100, you got a free $50 gift certificate to the store. Awesome, right? I was overjoyed, thinking of the one pair of underwear I might be able to buy without going over. Maybe. If it was cotton.

Unfortunately, our exciting gift certificate came with rules. It could not be used on: cosmetics, fragrances, undergarments, gift cards, online purchase, certain brands or sale items. There were probably more exclusions listed, but we stopped listening. There went my new pair of underwear, or $40 nail polish. There went any hope of using the gift certificate because what, pray tell, was actually affordable at NM at full price?

Last night I decided to see. S begrudgingly came along. It’s not like he hates shopping like most men, he just hates certain stores, such as ones like NM where you feel like a total outcast. Where wearing Target isn’t considered cool. He was also convinced I was on a failed mission. I had to prove him wrong.

We searched the store for a bit and were happy to find a few gift bags full of teas and hot chocolate for around $15. Fantastic! We figured we might need a generic gift for someone. So we picked two up. On the way to the cash register, we found something else that I just needed.

ImageThere, on a display, was the ugliest and best thing I had ever seen. It was an iron bird bottle opener. For $10 it was a steal. I needed it. I had just built us a bar, so it was meant to be. With the bird we were right around $40. Our mission was complete.

At that point the lights were dimmed. Apparently NM closes an hour before the rest of the mall. We didn’t know that, so we ran to the register and apologized profusely. Thankfully, the employee was super nice. Which was awesome because our transaction was doomed from the start.

The gift card, as it turned out, was a mystery to everyone. He had to call a manager to help figure it out. (1st call) It was then that we learned we couldn’t use it on the food items.

Foiled!

Whatever, I figured. At this point they were closed. We’ll just get the one ugly bird. At least we got something. But then, out of nowhere, a miracle happened. Silent through most the trip, S piped in –

S: “LET’S GET THREE MORE BIRDS!”

And then he was gone, running back to the display to get three more ugly birds. Birds for everyone! I didn’t even consider who we’d give the rest to. Really, who would want such a weird Christmas gift? Clearly someone we didn’t want to be friends with anymore.

I’d never seen S move so quickly. Like a flash he was back, birds in hand. Apparently he grabbed the last ones. The guy rang them up and yet again we were met with a problem. (Call to manger #2) Apparently you had to spend $50 minimum.

Oh NM, you think you’re tricky don’t you? But you can’t mess with us. I looked over at S and yelled.

Me: “GET THE DISPLAY BIRD!”

Now with five ugly birds, we were ready for the register.

Quickly thinking, S spotted something else. Socks! Apparently ONE PAIR of socks was $12. So we swapped out three of the birds and got socks.

Socks for everyone!

And so, our extremely patient and kind store employee continued ringing up our stuff. He had to call over another employee because the gift card wasn’t working (Call #3). At this point most of the lights were off, and only those two employees were left on the floor. We felt awful. They were extremely apologetic. Apparently other people had problems with the cards. (Call #4 after the register stopped working correctly. Seriously.)

But thankfully, 25 minutes later, the transaction was complete. Receipt in hand, we left the store proud new owners of three pairs of socks and two ugly birds. (We paid $5 extra, but it was worth it.)

During the ride home I laughed for 30 minutes straight.

Because, seriously, who would we have given four ugly birds to?