Begin Again

About a month ago, I was SUPER PUMPED about writing this new idea I had. It was shiny and exciting and got me into crazy writing again. (Crazy writing is what I call those moments when I don’t want to eat/sleep/breathe, and just want to write word after word after word. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does I absolutely LOVE it.) (I do stop to eat, though. I’m not barbaric.)

It was fun flirting with this idea, toying around with it and seeing where it went. A few days ago I managed to hit close to 30,000 words and just…stalled. Dead stalled. Lost all hope.

Now, this happens sometimes to me. I just start hating my idea, hating my writing. But usually in that time, I have a clear vision of the end, a light at the end of the tunnel so to say. I know that there’s a way to turn it all around, and make it something I might be proud to show my agent.

But for this one? No light. No hope. Nothing. It just felt like a bland, boring idea. Something that needed spiciness. Something  so similar to what i’ve already written. Something that needed to be completely reevaluated.

So i’m dropping it.

It’s kind of sad because I’ve created these characters that I like, and this story that I indulged in. But it’s not the right story at all. I know it won’t go anywhere, and I know in the end it won’t be anything to marvel at. So I have to step aside.

So, I’m saying goodbye to that story, l’m letting it sit on my desktop for a while. I hope in the future that i’ll pick it back up, say hello to the characters and find their real story. Because, if anything, I owe it to them. But right now? I need to say goodbye.

It’s the hardest thing to do. And sometimes, truly, the best.

3 thoughts on “Begin Again

  1. Lee Kelly says:

    Ugh this happened to me last summer — I think I was 20k in. SO painful. But at the same time I knew I was forcing it… I think after a week or two you know deep down whether its a stall or a full engine breakdown. Sometimes the smartest thing is moving on… Good luck!!

    • Lauren says:

      Ugh, i’m sorry it happened to you, too. It’s so sad…but also so good, right? I agree, you do know whether or not your forcing it. Thanks, and GOOD LUCK on yours, too!!

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