I had my first bridal meltdown this past weekend. I mean, full screaming and crying flip out. And if you know me, you know that’s not in my nature. It was so bad that my mom had to remove me from the kitchen, where a guy was fixing their china cabinet. I’m pretty sure he called his boss moments after to ensure he’d never be assigned our house again.

For the past few weeks, my mom has been on me about making labels for our wedding favors. Apparently the favors, which are chocolate covered Oreos, need labels because our guests might not know who’s wedding they’re at. I kept putting it off, because I’d only found really horrid looking/expensive labels at Michael’s and Jo-Anne’s. But she remained persistent in her reminding me, as if it wasn’t clearly stated already on my to-do list.

Apparently my trigger word is labels, because when she said it again, after I dropped off our programs at her house, I. Just. Lost it.

Now, it could have been because I was on around five hours of sleep. I hadn’t been sleeping, because every night around 4 I’d wake up and think. I hate thinking sometimes. I’d make the list of things I’d need to do the following day. I’d fret that I’d forget the list. So, then, I’d get up and write out the list – just in case. All of the stressing, fretting, and writing would keep me up for a good few hours, so I wouldn’t’ fall back asleep until around 6:30, only to wake up at 7.

This has been constant.

So with little sleep, and a head full of things to do, I let out a mixture of screams and sobs and it was entirely embarrassing. I don’t think my mom knew what to do, other than escort me away from the stranger, who was giving me the oddest look.

I finally calmed down, and organized my thoughts. I dived up responsibilities a bit more; I really couldn’t handle everything. I’ve always been like that, though; I don’t like to burden others. If anything goes wrong, I’d rather blame myself. Plus, if I do everything, I know how and when it’ll be done. So I let her take care of folding/tying the programs, and gave the escort cards to my bridesmaid Shannon because she has much better handwriting than me. I’m learning to let go, and that’s okay I think. I can’t do everything.

I told Samir my story as soon as he got home on Sunday from his bachelor party. I think I freaked him out a bit.

Who knew planning a wedding would be this…emotional!?

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P.S. I finished the labels last night. They’re fabulous.