Sleepy sleepy

Baby Leila is here! Born just a week ago, she’s been an absolute joy. S and I are completely and utterly in love with our little girl.

I’ll admit I was hesitant about being a parent at first. What if I didn’t know what to do? What if I did everything wrong? Could I be responsible for someone? Could I be okay with changing up my life so much that it revolves around someone else? Even with S’s constant love and help, could we do it?

Obviously we decided that we could, that we wanted to. It was a natural decision. We took our time and I think that was for the best. Because now we’re ready. And, yes, we’re still petrified of doing something wrong, and yes, we’re not sure what we’re doing, but we know it’ll all be okay. Because we’re in it together. The three of us now.

It feels right.

Before Leila, I considered TNWSY to be my baby. In a way, there are similarities. I birthed it, nurtured it. It sometimes made me stressed or sad, but also extraordinarily happy and proud. And, when it was ready, I put it out into the world to create its own life.

I still consider TNWSY to be my baby (it will always be!), but it’s different now that I have an actual one. When TNWSY comes out, if someone doesn’t like it, it won’t be the end of the world. Sure i’ll feel rejected and sad, but it can’t force someone to like something I wrote. But if someone says something negative about my girl, I will come at them with the fury of dragons. I will do everything I can – everything in my power – to protect this little human. I will show her a good life. I will keep her nurtured and loved. I will love her every single day as she learned the highs and lows of the world. I will hold her close through everything.

It’s amazing, looking at this little girl as I am right now, and realizing that S and I created her. She’s ours, all ours. I never thought I could love someone I barely know – yet someone know so well – so much.

Bridal Shower

My bridal shower was the other weekend. It’s crazy that it’s already passed. I’ve always found showers to be a bit – well – cheesy, but let me say, mine was far from it. In fact, mine was amazing. My friends went above and beyond. I’m constantly amazed by how talented they are, and here’s proof.

I had absolutely nothing to do with the shower – I was just told to show up. My maid of honor, Megan, organized the entire thing with my mom and the other bridesmaids. The party was – to my delight – book themed. The invitations were library cards. To my surprise, Megan then had everyone get me a book, and tuck the invite into a little library card holder. How cute?

She also handmade the veil I’m wearing, but we’ll get to that later. The shower was at the community room of the apartment complex my dad works at. Check out how beautiful the rooms were:

Those paper chains had writing on them, so they looked like book pages. (Apparently it was stationary – the girls did not actually rip apart a book, they were pleased to tell me.)

My friend Karina HAND-MADE this amazing fondant cake. It not only looked brilliant, it tasted wonderful as well.

The Great Gatsby is my favorite book, thus the second book. Also, the reason behind Megan’s computer background, which was attached to a TV. We played the trivia game, and instead of reading how Samir’s answers to questions, she video taped him.

Yes, that’s Samir and I photoshopped into the cover of The Great Gatsby. It’s also one of our engagement photos. As mentioned earlier, Megan made me a little vintage style veil to wear – also in theme of the shower.

I can’t wait to wear it again for the bachelorette party! As for the food, it was delicious! My mom got subs and chicken from Publix, while the girls all brought homemade sides. Megan also made me pie pops (because I prefer pie to cake), which we’re having at the wedding. They were so good!

My mom, who works for a chocolatier, made chocolate books and dinosaurs.

We played a few games, but mostly hung out. What I liked most was watching everyone get along, even those who’ve never met before. It’s amazing seeing that happen – seeing all of my different lives come together. There were my high school drama friends sitting with my college circus friends. My roommates with my cousins. People keep asking Samir and I what we’re most excited about, in regards to the wedding. Aside from actually being married, we’re mostly excited about seeing everyone together. That’s what means the most to us.

Me and my amazing, wonderful, lovely bridesmaids who put the whole thing on.

All of the photos were taken by my amazing friend and bridesmaid, Colure. She did our engagement photos, too!