All At Once

I’ve heard quite a few times that you should never start querying a book while pregnant. The stress, anxiety, excitement, and disappointment are enhanced due to hormones and general craziness. Well, thankfully, I’m not pregnant, and don’t plan on being for a while. HOWEVER, I am querying during a different type of stressful time.

Job hunting.

My temp job at the library (which I love) is ending in April. It was actually supposed to end earlier, but they gave me to the end of the semester. If I get offered a job prior, of course I’ll just switch jobs sooner. My bosses here are incredibly nice and supportive. (In fact, before each interview, my co-workers literally cheer me on. I can almost imagine pom poms. I love them.)

That said, I’ve been practically glued to my e-mail and phone. Each message could dictate my future! It’s crazy, and incredibly nerve wracking. And the thing is – it’s every day. Query responses don’t come in overnight, and neither do decisions after applications or interviews.

On top of it all, my best friend is in labor. Today. I’ve been texting with her husband (who, incidentally, I befriended first back in college) all morning, getting every update. (Latest update, which has been my favorite: “They broke her water. There’s a baby insider her running out of water!” If you get this reference, we’ll be friends forever.)

So perhaps this wasn’t the best time to query, but honestly…I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Despite the stress and anxiety, it’s thrilling. Each “1 new message” could change my whole future. I live for moments like that.

You never know what might happen, right?

More on this later…

Happy

My husband started a music blog last week. Not just any music blog – he only highlights British indie music from the mid-late 90s that he  enjoyed while growing up in London. Some bands made it, most didn’t, and he’s kind of discussing what he liked about them, and seeing if any of them held up over time. It’s not something everyone will, but he loves it. He loves talking and writing about music, dissecting it for hours. It makes him ridiculously happy. So, I’m really glad he started the blog. (Because, let’s be honest, I can only humor him for so long.) (I kid.)

My two lives (writing & librarianship) kind of cosmically collided head on a few years ago. I always knew I wanted to be a writer, but didn’t know what kind of one (thus my explorations in journalism). I always knew I wanted to work with books, but didn’t know how (thus my book selling and teaching careers). So I read and researched. I started writing for me, and figuring out the life I wanted. Young adult books made me happy. I wanted to recommend them to children. And maybe write one myself.

I remember taking my young adult class in library school (yes, that was a class, and yes it was amazing) and gazing over the articles and books assigned. By the end of the semester, each one had tons of bright yellow highlights. Each had bookmarked pages, and underlines and stars. Each was dissected. Each was discussed with S (to his amusement, I’m sure) for hours upon hours. It didn’t feel like work. Writing those papers, reading those books – I would have done it for fun.

So now I’m the cusp of it all coming together. I’m a librarian (yay!) and I wrote my first book, working on my second. I’m doing it all because it makes me happy. Because let’s be honest…I may never make a mark on a young child’s life with my book recommendation or book written, but what I do? It makes me so, so happy.

So what makes you happy?

Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I know this is supposed to be the post when I wax poetic about my first year of marriage, declaring how wonderful it is and how in love I am. While all of that is true enough, I’m not great at expressing emotions. In fiction, SURE! But on my blog? Not so much. So instead, here’s one of my favorite romantic quotes:

“here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)”

-e.e. cummings

When S & I got married, we didn’t have a religious ceremony. (With him being Hindu and me being Jewish/Catholic, it would have been 7,000 days long.) So, instead of a traditional Bible reading, we had my cousin read that e.e. cummings poem. I found it to be more us. 

However, I’ll admit,that was my second choices. My first choice was far too long. I tried cutting it, but it lost so much meaning that way. So, we went with that beautiful poem and no one knew about my original idea.

So I’m letting you all in on it now! While there are so many writings on love that I adore, one of my unexpected favorites is…(drum roll please)….the essay “The End of the Affair” by David Sedaris (found in his book Dress your Family in Corduroy and Denim). Weird, right? Have you read it? It’s fantastic. The basic premise is that large attention-grabbing dramatic gestures aren’t needed in true love. While, sure, they’re nice, sitting close to someone in a cafe may be just as lovely. Here’s my favorite part:

“Movie characters might chase each other through the fog or race down the stairs of burning buildings, but that’s for beginners. Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings…I pulled my chair a few inches closer, and we sat silently at our little table on the square, looking for all the world like two people in love.”

Which is kind of like us, after all. I can’t wax poetic in my blog about him, but he still knows I care.

What’s your favorite romantic bit of writing, unexpected or cliche?

YA

I just read this and thought it was quite interesting:

“Good YA is not dumbed-down adult fare; it’s literature that doesn’t waste a breath.”

How true is that? I write YA so perhaps I’m biased, but I hate the stigma that young adult books are thought to be “lesser” than adult books. They’re not. They’re just as good, just as honest. Perhaps the protagonist is in high school – that doesn’t mean s/he is any less a narrator. YA gets to the point, even with beautiful descriptions and a full back stories. It’s lovely, and I think more people are finally starting to see that…

Re-Write

I have the tendency to work on many things at once. This, I’ve come to learn, is both good and bad. It was great when I had to balance school, work, and wedding planning. It’s not so good when it’s three different story ideas. I have one idea, go with it, and then pause because the other idea is all of a sudden so much better. And so on. Until nothing is done.

Here’s the thing – before I finished TNWSY, I had been thinking about it/working on it for years.I wrote a few chapters, hated it, gave up, moved on to something new. The thing is, every time I kept moving on, it was always in the back of my mind. Which is why I finally decided to force myself to write it during NaNoWriMo. And it was the best thing I could have done. Because finally, finally, the story I wanted to tell came out. It changed a ton since my first ideas blossomed, but I know it’s right now.

So now with TNWSY done and in querying stage, I’m working on Book 2. And Book 2 has become…a bit of a pain. Remember all of those other ideas I said I had? I decided “meh, forget those!” and started something new, something fresh. I had two characters I loved and…um…that was it. No concrete story around them. Nothing too inspiring.

And I felt terrible. I mean, really terrible. What if I was just one of those one-off writers?

And then an older story started flickering in my mind, and wouldn’t leave. It kept pestering me over and over until I addressed it. Said hello. Gave in to its poking.

And finally finally my writing felt  right. So, I’m starting Book 2 over again. For a while it felt like giving up (like I’d done in the past), and I hated myself for that. But I think it’s more like giving in. To a new (old) idea. To something I know is better. And maybe I’ll re-visit those other characters again someday. Who knows, they may be pestering me once I’m doing with this book.

Have you ever gone back and re-started a book? Did it turn out to be what you meant to write in the first place?